Permanent
by HeyCourtney
Summary: Annabel was the love of Chris' life. All she leaves him with is a song and a broken heart in urgent need of fixing.
1. Chapter 1

_Please note; _

_This story is written in 3 different POV's. Annabel's (bold) Chris's (regular) and Naomi's (also bold- you'll find out why later) Thanks guys. Happy reading xo_

This would have to be one of the best summer vacations I've had in a while. Okay. Honestly, it wasn't. Life sucked cheese-balls right now, but being with Annabel was the only thing I'd wanted to do. Her parents were out of town for a business trip. Sophie was at her friend's house for a few days and Josh was "touring." It was actually just going to all these different places around the states with the band, staying wherever the van took them and asking for jigs along the way. I guess you can kind of call that touring. That left Annabel the house to herself and given the circumstances we were allowed the house to ourselves.

I walked in on her, but she hadn't even noticed I was standing at the doorway. She looked so tiny compared to the huge piano that she was seated behind. I remember her telling me once how her great grandmother left it in her will for her. It was ancient and so beautiful. It looked like it could break at any second but was so intact and strong. That piano was made for her. Annabel's long golden hair was being blown back by the open window in front of her. The sunset highlighted the natural browns in it. It smelt so sweet. I wondered silently how much longer I'd have to enjoy these little things. I fought back the tears that were burning my eyes and resisted the urge to run over and hold her, never to let her go. I wanted to know what she was thinking.

As if Annabel knew what I was thinking she started to play the chords that I knew so well. It wasn't just any song. It was her song. When she got sick I hadn't realized how perfect this song was. I dedicated it to her without knowing I had. Whenever I listened to it, I instantly thought of images of her smiling and holding me. I had heard a playfully singing a few times along to the radio in her car and heard her scream her lungs out on Singstar, but I had never heard her sing with such meaning. _Is this the moment where I look you in the eye? Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry. _I sung along in my head.

Suddenly all those tears that I had being trying to fight back streamed over my cheeks. I kept quiet still though. This was a moment that I didn't want to interrupt. I needed to hear it, she needed to sing it. _I know he's living in hell every single day and so I ask_, _oh God is there some way for me to take this place? _I don't know what made me more upset. That she was singing this and in her voice you could tell she was singing it about me. That she knew it was killing me on the inside more then she could ever know. Or that right now she is so vulnerable. She had kept all of her feelings bottled up and this is how she feels.

_And everything, it will surely change even if I tell you I won't go away today. _My silent sobs began to turn into louder, uncontrollable cries. I wasn't going to ruin this moment so I walked out into her backyard, sat on her swing and cried. I felt like the biggest sook but I couldn't help myself. I was losing the love of my life. The girl that I wanted to be with forever. And there was nothing I could do to fix it; there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. How unfair was that? Freaking hell, she's 16.

**I stopped playing the piano. I needed that. I really did. **

**Walking outside, I saw Chris outside on the veranda swing. His face was blotchy and I could see the pink slowly fading from around his eyes. I made my way over to him. When he looked up, I saw that twinkle in his eyes that I hadn't seen in so long. **

"**Hi" I whispered smiling at him. **

**He moved over slightly and I sat next to him. We sat silent for a moment and I looked into his eyes. If it wasn't obvious that he was crying before it certainly was now. If there was one thing I knew about Chris it was that his eyes changed colours with his emotions. Right now they were a light blue, either he had just finished crying or he had a sudden urge for slushies...**

**I kept looking into his eyes, searching for something – anything. There was a twinkle and that was something but otherwise his eyes were so lifeless since I told him about me being sick.**

**Two butterflies danced over our heads and I began to wonder if they ever cared about any of this. Did they ever have troubles like humans do? **

"**I take it you heard?" I knew he did. I could feel a presence behind me the entire time while I was in that room. It wasn't a ghost or anything. It was just Chris. He had that effect around me. He had a presence that I could feel a mile away. He had a pull about him that I could feel even further away. I wanted to be in his arms every chance I got, being sick just made it so much more necessary.**

**He nodded and entwined his hand with mine. I felt that same electricity I felt every time we touched but this time it was stronger. It felt so strong that I was scared. He pulled me into his lap and kissed me. **

"**I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put all this on your shoulders. It isn't your burden to carry. Baby, believe me, I'm so sorry and when I'm gone I want you to live like this never happened." **

**He smirked and kissed me again but I could see right through him, he was hurting. "You're mine indefinitely. I'm never going to forget you." **

**I pulled myself closer to him and closed my eyes. That moment couldn't have been more perfect. The pain near my heart started to grow stronger though and I tighten my grip of Chris. **

**The next thing I remember was gasping for air. Chris was on his mobile panicking and the neighbours were surrounding me. Everything slowly faded; I felt a familiar hand hold mine and sirens started echoing in what seemed like the distance. I didn't realize they were only around the corner. Everything seemed so far away. Well, everything except Chris. **


	2. Chapter 2

In the hospital nothing ran through my head. I was completely numb and felt nothing. Mum kept telling Josh and me to eat something, you know, "Keep my strengths up."

How could I do that when the love of my life was in the ER right now while dozens of doctors attach wires and tubes to her? How could I possibly eat or smile when her life in on the line?

Flashbacks of all the times we spent together ran through my mind. I remembered one especially well though. It was the night of her Sweet 16 and it was the time to slow dance. I'd never really danced before and I knew if I made an idiot of myself there would be a good 50 or so videos of it the next day on YouTube.

Annabel left her friends, walked my way and pulled me up by the hand and led me to the middle of the dance floor. She looked beautiful. She was wearing a halter-neck dress that went to her knees. It was teal with a purple design of waves and flowers down the side. Her hair was out and she smelt like a mixture of lavender (which was new for her) and pine trees (which wasn't so new for her). She always did though. No matter how dirty she was or even after a shower, she still smelt like pine trees. It was cute. She looked up at me with the most amazing smile and a little twinkle in her eye and wrapped her arms around my neck.

**I knew something was going on around me, I could feel it. I mean, I was anesthetized and all but I could still hear my thoughts and my heart, which seemed to be louder than ever. **_**I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared. **_**I didn't swear often and I never meant to swear when I did, but it's true. I'm going to die I can feel it. I want Sophie here, I want to feel her soft red hair just one last time and see her cute freckles. I want Josh here so I can pick on him just once and tell him I never meant any of the things I said, that I loved him for everything he had ever done for me. I want mum and dad here. I need Chris here. **

**I guess the next best thing is to think about them. I was instantly taken back to the night of my Sweet Sixteen. Oh wow. It was the most amazing night ever. I pulled Chris up to the dance floor. Okay, I had to drag him up. He was so stubborn. **

**I was still taking in everything. The bright lights, the music, the food, the people, the atmosphere. I loved Josh and his band for doing this. I was originally gonna just have a small family get together, but this was just amazing. He used his "connections" to get a local band in to perform and a DJ. They hired out the huge hall that was used to hold concerts. The sound system was perfect and they even turned one of the walls into a huge projector – I thought that was pretty cool to play Singstar on until I realized they had made a slideshow of photos to put on after. It was decorated with fairy lights and a huge disco ball. There were tables and tables of food and even a chocolate fountain (yes, there were cups next to it for drinking.) **

**We made our way into the middle of the dance floor when a slow beat same on. I had to stand on my toes just to reach my arms around his neck, I knew he hadn't danced like this before but he was a perfect dancer anyway. It almost felt like it came naturally to him. I looked up at him and took in every feature on his face. I found myself searching his eyes again. They had never been so full and twinkling. They had changed within minutes to a beautiful brown. He pulled me in so close I could feel his heartbeat against me. For that moment in time, we were one. It felt like it could last forever. I hoped it would. **

**I instantly snapped out of my daydream. I wanted to curl into a ball and cry. I tried. **_**Why can't I move? Why can't I cry?! **_**I got so frustrated with myself. I needed to think of something happy. I needed to snap out of this. Getting upset wasn't going to put me in my family's arms any sooner. This state of conscience sucked. I could do nothing but think. **

I was in a state of shock according to the doctor. Mrs Keeler demanded that Josh, Soph and I get an examination to see if we were in shock or anything. We all objected but that just pushed all the adults even harder to get the tests. I got given some medication, so did Josh though. I didn't feel as bad then.

Hospitals are officially the most horrible places on this planet. They are so cold, too cold for any normal human being. They were clean as well, suspiciously clean actually. And they were too serious. I sat on the cold chair, bringing my legs up to my chest and putting my iPod on. I was in the middle of a song when Alana ran up to me crying.

"Hey beautiful" I felt a lump rise in my throat as I wiped the tears away from my little sister's face and pulled her onto my lap. My family were outside with the Mr and Mrs Keeler talking about Annabel's recovery. It was weird to see Alana without her twin Marie, they did everything together but I looked out the window to the pond and saw Marie and Sophie chasing the ducks. She seemed so happy; I wondered if she knew what was going on.

"Chrissy..." Alana whispered into my shirt which was already half covered in her tears and boogers. I hugged her a little bit tighter. "Is... Is Anna going to..." she paused. I knew what she was going to say.

"Lani..." I didn't know what to say. "Baby girl, we don't know yet. We're not going to know for a little bit. We've just got to keep hoping." She hugged me, it felt so weird. I was always so used to being the one who comforted her and now little Lani was hugging me and telling me everything was going to be fine. _Bless her. _

**I started to feel very heavy. I knew my eyes were closed already but now they felt like they were closing again. I tried to keep awake, to keep thinking. I thought back to after my Sweet Sixteen after we had danced. The sweetest and dorkiest thing I'd ever seen Chris do. As they bought out the birthday cake he walked up on the stage, took the microphone and borrowed a guitar. He sung. **_**You make me smile from the inside out, and everything is just so much better when you're around. You and me were meant to be together. **_**The words stuck in my head all night. **

**It was the most amazing night. I kept running the night over in my head, it was keeping me strong. The dancing. The eating. The singing. The dancing again. The sneaking back to my house while everyone else was packing up. The events that followed. The closeness and closure it bought me. Bought both of us. The words we exchanged. **_**I love you. I love you too.**_** It was keeping me strong. **

It's been 5 hours and still no news.

Josh went out to get something to eat finally. I asked him to bring me back a coffee. Not because I was actually thirsty, I just wanted to stay awake and get mum and dad off my back. Mum couldn't take being inside the hospital and went out crying. Dad and Mrs Keeler went after her. Mr Keeler took Soph, Marie and Lani to the vending machine. I was left waiting by myself outside the surgery room imagining all the possible scenarios. I remembered Anna's smiling face on the night of her Sweet Sixteen and sneaking off to her room. All of our midnight runs to McDonalds. Remembered all the things we got up to into the movies – including being kicked out for her and Amber dancing at the front of the cinema and climbing under people's seats during scary movies and scaring them even more. _Josh was taking too long with that coffee. _I slowly started to fall asleep.

_We were at the park. It was our 2 year anniversary. We were watching the skies so carelessly. She rolled over onto her stomach and smiled at me. "What?" I was confused. Did I have something on my face? She giggled and pounced on top of me playfully. She looked like an angel. She always did, but this time she actually glowed. Alright, she always glowed and had aura about her. It was magnificent. _

"_Guess what?" She asked me. She smiled cheekily and kissed me. I kissed her back and pulled her closer to me. _

"_What princess?" I moved her hair from her face which was directly in front of me. I could feel her heart beater faster. Whatever this was, it had to be important._

"_I'm better." She mouthed. _

_The moment she mouthed these 2 words the sky behind her started to go grey and storm clouds faded behind her. She was moving further and further away from me. How did this dream turn into a nightmare? "Anna..." I whispered. She looked up at me with apologetic eyes. "Anna! Baby. Come back! Please don't leave." _

I was tossing and turning in my chair, fighting with the air. "I need you." I mumbled.

Someone started to shake me awake. It was Josh with the coffees. His eyes were so worn out, he looked so old and worried. "Hey dude. You were asleep for a bit. Like 3 or 4 hours. Er, the coffee's definitely cold by now. I could go-" He stopped speaking and his eyes instantly turned to the slowly opening door of the ER.

A doctor walked out. He was expressionless, as they all seemed to be around here. He looked around for everyone and made his way over to us. "You're related to Anna I presume?"

Josh nodded and I introduced myself. My heart started to skip beats and my breathing became irregular. I wanted to pass out. My eyes started to burn

"Where is the rest of the family?" He asked ignoring the doctors flooding in and out of the Emergency Room.

As if they heard the doctor speaking they all swarmed in; Mum, Dad, Soph, Alana, Marie, Mr and Mrs Keeler, Anna's grandparents Alexis and Graham and last but not least her best friend Amber. Amber was always quite beautiful and well kept but this was the only time I had ever seen her let her guard down. If I hadn't spent all those afternoon's with Amber and Anna I wouldn't have been able to tell it was her. She was in track pants (a first), her face was redder then I'd ever seen it and her hair was all over the place from the amount of times she had pulled it in frustration (a definite first).

"Okay, she wanted me to talk to her parents, Chris and Josh for her first. Please. Step into my office."

My heart started to skip beats and I became all sweaty. I took slow steps into the office.


End file.
